09.22.09

The Lord Provides

Posted in Life and the happenings there of at 12:54 am by Kaihaku

Looking back on the last month I wonder what happened? When did that mountain of paperwork begin to shrink? When did all those things I had on my to do list begin to get checked off? It seemed to happen snip by snip, so little that I didn’t even realize that I was progressing.

There was one big turning point though. I was at my last expatriate Bible Study and started talking to my friend Barbara about something that has been weighing heavily on my mind – the fate of my cats. The Umbles happened to be there taking a break from Phnom Penh and let it be known that they are actually looking for a cat – possibly two. I introduced them to Stoopid and Ch’kout. They want to talk it over more but the cats, though maybe just one of the cats, who kept me sane and gave me good company might just end up in a good home. It was an immense relief and, though it seems silly compared to the greater struggles of the world, I felt very cared for – the Lord provides is what came to me in words. Though I’m trying to keep from getting my hopes too up until I get that confirmation that they want them.

Time flies. I made my last trip to the school today with Miles and Ruth, who will be taking over the program for me. It was a good visit though a strange one. It’s hard to believe that I won’t be out there again for years. It’s hard to comprehend that I’ve been working with them for over two years now. The Primary School Hunt seems so long ago. Now I’m going home. Then I’m getting married. Life lives. I just hope I can keep on living it. I’m afraid that suburbia will steal my soul, all the comfort and security comes at a price. I’m scared that working to earn money rather than to promote my ideals will change me. But, at least for this next bit, that’s what I need to do.

I’ve been inviting folks to my going away party and I ordered the tent for it this afternoon. Twenty-five dollars for a eight by eight meter tent with five tables, forty chairs, and all the plates, silverware, and pots. It’s definitely a different world from the wedding catering information Crystal has sent me.

I feel conflicted about leaving. I’m happy and sad, relieved and dismayed, panicked and calm… I guess that’s enough of an glimpse at me for now.

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