10.17.09
Dinner with PVIO
My last Tuesday afternoon in Prey Veng Sakhoeun called me on the phone and asked me to go out to dinner with him. He sounded a bit nervous which is normal, he almost always sounds either nervous or frustrated when talking to me over the phone – often enough in person too. I admit that I was less than thrilled by the prospect, I’ve had many an awkward meal with Cambodians who were offended that I wouldn’t drink beer with them, but I accepted him invitation regardless. He had had to skip out on my farewell party early and I figured that this was his way of making amends for that. It was raining and I was really dreading the whole evening as I waited for him at the Prey Veng MCC Office, I kept on thinking what a relief it would be when all of this was over. No more awkward language barriers, no more worrying about slighting someone, and no more of this maddening insistence on everyone drinking alcohol at every social gathering – not so sure that I’ll be able to escape that last one back home.
He picked me up at 6:30 and we went to eat at a nice restaurant that an uncle in Scott’s host family owns. It sort of makes sense that Sakhoeun would take us there; he was the one who introduced us to Scott’s host family and helped us set it up back when we hardly had a clue what we were doing. That seems like so long ago but Sakhoeun was there helping us then, back when we had no translator and almost no language skills.
We sat down and Sakhoeun asked if I knew wanted to drink Beer. I said no. He laughed and said, “I didn’t think so, you Mennonites don’t drink Beer. See, I know.” Then he went on to tell me about the foreigner he had had dinner with the night before who apparently knew how to drink beer, smoke cigarettes, and sing karaoke. But he did say that I was better looking as I wasn’t so skinny. The waitress disagreed though; she thought the other guy had been better looking. I didn’t feel particularly judged by this tale; mostly I was relieved that it wasn’t going to be a night of awkward relationship killing refusals to drink. I can’t tell you how sick I am of those.
After a bit Sotherith arrived and the three of us proceeded to eat a nice large meal together. Actually, first Sakhoeun asked me if I wanted to pray. I shouldn’t have been so surprised – he has been working with Mennonites since I was seven years old. What a realization that was. We had a variant of prohok called puchok that left the fish mostly intact, snau teah, and cha: sike goa bon. There were some awkward moments thanks to my slipping language skills but it was a good meal overall. Sakhoeun and Sotherith told me that I would forget all my Khmer in the states unless I found some Cambodians there to practice with. I responded that I was losing my Khmer here but I’d heard that most MCCers who went back found that they spoke better Khmer than most Khmer Americans. Sakhoeun said that the kids raised in the States usually didn’t learn any Khmer. We talked a bit about Larry, Mike Roberts, how handsome Sakhoeun use to be, whether or not I’d recognize Sotherith in five years, and about what Khmer foods I would miss the most.
Sakhoeun kept on putting more food in my bowl and explained that he thought I should eat up good Khmer meat while I had the chance because he knows that back in the States I’ll be eating a lot of vegetables – he knows us better than I thought. He praised the duck, an all natural Prey Veng duck. They don’t have duck like that in America he said. It’s true. Like most Cambodian poultry the meat was tough but the flavor was good. I’ve actually come to prefer that tough flavorful meat though I still haven’t come to enjoy crunching through all the bones.
Towards the end of the meal Sakhoeun gave me, my family, and my finance a simple but nice blessing. I couldn’t translate it all but I caught enough to know that it was a formal Khmer blessing. It was really humbling.
We talked a bit after that about how long I’d been here and Sakhoeun was surprised that I’d been in Prey Veng for three years, then we figured out that that was because I’d only been the adviser for PVIO for two years and two months. Before that it was Sarinda. Which lead me to initiating a talk about how difficult it is for them to have a new adviser every couple of years. I suspected and they confirmed that the constant transitions are rough and more than a bit jarring. I said it in one of my early reports but this was a good reminder that PVIO was a real blessing to us when we first started setting up the MCC Prey Veng office. They really helped us in a lot of ways. It wasn’t until I became their partner adviser that I got really frustrated with them and I think a good portion, though certainly not all, of that was the language barrier. I have learned so much from these wonderful maddening government officials – some of the best in Cambodia I’m convinced. They manage to accomplish so much while engulfed in a culture of corruption that I’m only now beginning to get a grasp of.
It was a pleasant low-key farewell. I’m glad I didn’t say no when he invited me.